Adam White

Ever since I started to come to Gateway Church Swindon (then it was called Swindon Family Church) over three years ago I have been serving.

Within a few months of attending I was asked if I would lead the projection team and take over the running of the IT requirements as the current tech-master was heading off to New Zealand. I felt like this would be a good thing to do so I said yes.

Over the years I have continued to say yes to things and in the end I was not only leading the projection team and heading up IT I was also in charge of the church website, producing the CDs and creating the podcast of the Sunday morning message (and any other recordings we did), running a monthly film night, fixing any computer problems that people had and leading an Alpha discussion group.

Then about three months ago I was asked I would take on the role of Alpha administrator which would mean taking control of all the things that was needed to be done to get the Alpha course going. I prayed about it for a while and didn’t feel like God was telling me not to do it so I said yes.

Then about two months later my kitchen ceiling started to leak.

Then I cracked.

But God was right there with me. The day before He had brought a bible verse to the mind of a very good friend of mine. They thought it was for me but it didn’t seem to fit. That was until I told them about my leaking ceiling. Here it is…

If a man is lazy, the rafters sag; if his hands are idle, the house leaks. – Ecclesiastes 10:18

At first they thought that I am neither lazy nor is my house leaking so they ignored it but once I told them about my latest house disaster they decided to share it with me.

It really hit me. While to the outside world I was anything but lazy actually I was. I was so busy all the time that I never did the things that really mattered like being a good steward of the things that God has blessed me with like a home and a family.

That weekend I was going to visit my brother and my mum. I had originally planned to quickly pop up for the day as I needed to get back to do the 100 things that needed doing. In the end I stayed for the weekend.

In the pursuit of doing lots for God I have ended up being an incredibly bad witness. My family only ever saw someone who was always busy. How appealing must that have been to them: “Come and know God and say goodbye to your free time!”

It was time for a change.

I met up with one of the elders of my church, told them how I felt and said I needed to give up everything I was doing.

So I am now on a mission to give up everything I am doing by Christmas and then sit back and spend some time with my family, my house and, most importantly, God.

Already my house is clean and tidy and a much nicer place to live in. I feel less stressed and am on the way to having time for people instead of doing things all the time.

God knows what is best for us and while we may think we know what God wants from us (lots of service, to live by rules) actually all God really wants is for us to love and spend time with Him and each other. The more we do stuff the less time we have to do these things that really matter.

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For Christians, their time on this world is the closest thing to hell that they will ever have to experience.

For those that don’t know Jesus, their time on this world is the closest thing to heaven that they will ever get to experience.

Whenever someone mentioned faith or God or Jesus to me before I was a Christian my kneejerk reaction was for my defences to go up and to not listen to anything that person had to say. I was a man of fact and science and to hear some nonsense about a God you can’t see or hear made me laugh.

I was arrogant and I was a fool.

I can admit that now because God did not give up on me despite how much I had given up on him.

I’m not going to go into the things that changed my thinking here (if you want to know more you can read my testimony). All I will say is don’t be an arrogant fool like I was.

Suppose for a second that God is real. If that was the case and you don’t understand who Jesus was and what he did 2000 years ago then you are in a whole heap of trouble!

While things may seem fine now, when you die then you run out of opportunities to find out and you have to go to what the bible calls hell for eternity. That may sound harsh and mean but I’m not God and I haven’t set out how things work.

Of course if God isn’t real and all of us Christians are just wackos then you have nothing to worry about. But don’t you think it is the wise and intelligent thing to do a little bit of investigation before you discard something potentially so important?

Think of it this way: It is election time and you have always voted Labour because that was how you were brought up and you come from a long line of Labour voters. Do you really think you should carry on voting Labour blindly for the rest of your life or should you at least listen to what the other political parties have to say before making your mind up?

Starting on Sunday 20th September my church is running another Alpha Course. For one night every week you can come along and enjoy a meal, hear a short talk on some of the basics of Christianity and (this is the best part) get involved in discussions afterwards where you can raise all your questions and be as honest and critical as you like! The course is not about converting people, it is just about giving you the opportunity to make your own mind up based on the facts of Christianity.

If the thought of a course is off-putting then just come along to the Alpha Supper on Sunday 13th September where you get fed a proper three course meal, enjoy some great company (I’ll be there!) and hear a very short talk about what the course is about.

If you are curious and want to know more check out the church website and register your interest.

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I thought I would start this series with a question about Jesus. This bloke that supposedly lived (and died) 2000 years ago, did he actually exist or is he just aanother character in this book called the Bible?

When I was an athiest I thought that the Bible was a fictional book full of myths and fables and this Jesus that everyone keeps going on about was just a character in one of the stories. So it came as quiet a surprise to me when I later discovered that actually no serious historian actually doubts that he was a real man that was crucified by Pilate 2000 years ago!

So what is the evidence for this? First off there is the Jewish historian Josephus. This man was a Godly man but not a follower of Christ. However, in one of his most famous passages from The Antiquities (A.D. 93) he describes Jesus as “a wise man, if indeed one ought to call him a man” who was crucified and who “on the third day he appeared [to those who loved him] restored to life”. To be fair, the authenticity of some of the more supernatural references in this passage are disputed by scholars but nobody doubts that the man Josephus was writing about was Jesus.

In A.D. 115, Tacitus (the most important Roman historian of the first century) wrote about how emperor Nero had persecuted the Christians as a scapegoat. Tacitus had referred to them as followers of the Christ who had “suffered the extreme penalty during the reign of Tiberius at the hands of one of our procurator, Pontius Pilatus”. So while this passage does not refer to Jesus by name, it does refer to a man who was crucified by Pontius Pilate, from whom a the religious movement of “Christians” was borne.

On top of these there are also references to Jesus by Pliny the Younger and Suetonius, two more Roman historians.

The fact that authors and historians that were outside of Christianity confirm that Jesus was a real man that did exist and was crucified like the Bible says was really important to me. It meant that the option of him being a totally made up character was no longer an option and what that left me was to decide who he was instead.

If you want to know more why not read these Wikipedia articles: Josephus on Jesus and Tacitus on Jesus. Or if you would rather read a book written by a respected author I highly recommend The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel.

Or if you would rather have the opportunity to discuss this with people why not find a local Alpha Course to go on where you can debate your issues with real people who probably have the exact same questions as you!

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Just over a month ago I had a moan on my blog about about how I had no spare time and how I always felt under pressure. So how have I got on with freeing up some of my time?

Well, for a start I have made Saturday my day off. I try and get out and go somewhere if I can, recently I have visited Donnington Castle and many Swindon parks with my best friends. Last Saturday however I spent most of the time tidying my house but I didn’t count this as working as I felt good afterwards and it was a day well spent.

I have also now devoted my Sunday’s to my church. I didn’t want to call it my God day as every day is a God day really. By devoted to my church I mean I spend the morning ensuring everything visual is set up and working (I am regularly one of the first to arrive and last to leave). When I eventually get out of the building I try and do the minor church related jobs like the website or IT bits and bobs. And now Alpha has started again so from 4.30 until late I am back at the building doing what I think God wants me to do and leading a discussion group.

Another thing I am trying is I have always considered Sunday to be the last day of the week. This means I end the week with church and God and start it with my job. I’m trying to treat Sunday as the first day of my week now so that I kick off my weeks with church and serving God before I go and serve BCS on the Monday. It takes some getting used to though but it is a good mindset to be in.

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Every day is struggle for me at the moment. It is not illness related; I am blessed with good health and the only thing I can complain about is dodgy eyesight and a receding hairline. It is not money related; I have a great job that pays me well, the only debts I have are with my house (that I own).

The thing I struggle with at the moment and what is at the root of most of my troubles is time.

I’m not going to complain at needing more time as I get 24 hours in a day like everyone else. It is how I use those hours that is at the heart of the problem. I have worked out after 27 years of trial and error that I need around 8 hours of sleep in order to feel refreshed the next day. I can get less than that if necessary and be okay but after a couple of days of late nights and it really starts to affect my energy.

This leaves me with 16 hours a day. This does sound like a lot but then take away another 9 hours for work and that leaves me with 7 hours, 5 days a week. The time between waking up and getting to work can also be considered as a write-off. So that leaves me with 5 evenings of around 5 hours each.

Now, one of these evenings is always taken up with a small group meeting. Normally it starts at 7.30 so it is not the whole evening gone but by the time I have gotten home from work, checked my emails and eaten dinner it is time to head off anyway.

What about the weekend though? Surely I get time then? Sadly, being so involved in church activities pretty much means that Sundays are a total write-off as well. Church starts at 10.30 but I am regularly there by 9.30 to set up the projection requirements for the service and then I normally end up staying until 1.30 in order to get the day’s “message” onto CDs and run around doing all the other jobs that need doing. It also looks like I am going to be heavily involved in Alpha again starting at the end of February which takes my time from 5.30 on a Sunday night for the rest of the evening.

That leaves me with 5 hours a night for 4 weekdays, all of Saturday and 4 hours on a Sunday. Now what do I have to squeeze into these 48 hours…

I have three passions in life (as highlighted by the sub-title of my website): God, my job and films. I want to grow my knowledge in each of these areas and that takes time. The most important one of these is obviously God and I would love to spend far more time praying, reading my bible, listening to sermons and reading books and blogs. I pray on my way to work in the morning and I try and listen to a preach on my way home from work each night but I would love to find more time to pray and read my bible at other times in the day as well.

I love developing. I have been a web developer for nearly seven years now and love it. I have chosen to specialise in .NET development. This is a very fast growing technology and it is very hard to keep up to date with all the latest developments in CSS, JavaScript, MVC frameworks not to mention the various C# features I haven’t had a chance to learn or use yet. I try and keep up to date with the latest via magazines, blogs and the occasional podcast. A lot of this I can do at work but if I really want to be as good as I can be I need to take my learning into my home time as well.

And finally there are my films. I use my films as a way to shut down my brain and relax. I listen to Mark Kermode’s film reviews podcast once a week and read the occasional blog about what is happening but I don’t spend as much time on this passion as I used to and I rarely go to the cinema any more.

What I haven’t mentioned so far is all the things I do for my church outside of a Sunday. I look after the IT for the church which involves the website, projection, recording and all the IT equipment. I have a huge list of jobs that either need doing or I want to do.

I also love helping people. God has blessed me with lots of talents and a desire to serve but I can’t help everyone. If I could I would though, I just need to find the time to do it!

I haven’t even mentioned my friends yet. I have always preferred to have a handful of really good friends that I spend time with than lots of acquaintances that I don’t get to know as well as I would like. I could count the number of close friends I have on one hand and that is a good thing. However, when I see these friends I want to spend a good amount of time with them. Even today I spent most of it with my friends wandering around various shops in Swindon. If I could I would spend at least one night a week with each of my friends but that is just not feasible.

Other things that I haven’t mentioned here that I would love to do include: DIY in my house, getting myself fit and, dare I say it, a relationship!

So, I’ve have just written a 1000 word essay on my struggle with fitting everything I need/want to do into my life. I must have needed to vent. But unless I do something about, this situation is only going to get worse not better. So here are my goals to tackle this problem:

1) Use the time I have got more efficiently

2) Prioritise better

3) Start to say no

4) Give up some things

I’ll let you know how it goes…

Posted by Adam under Personal | 3 Comments »

If anybody is monitorng my Facebook status they will have noticed that I have been a little busy and overwhelmed of late. Here is an idea of why…

Friday
After a typical day at work it was time to start the weekend. I did this in style by going and stewarding at a Collective concert again in Wootton Bassett. It was a fun evening with very little trouble, even when the older kids turned up around 9.00 and the atmosphere changed. At the end they had a decent response from the youth and six children gave their lives to God.

Saturday
After a long snooze to recover from the night before it was time to start. First off was the last meeting between myself and Gemma to pray for our Alpha group. We have got together every week and as Sunday is the very last session it was sad to have it come to an end.

This was followed by a swift drive through the flooded roads to Purton to meet up with my small group for a ”Christmas” gathering. I spent most of the time playing on a Playstation and beating the younger children. It sounds mean but they did beat me on the first go!

Then, to cap off the evening, it was into my shirt and black tie to run the PA for our church’s youth’s Christmas party. This is actually still going on as I write this (they’re eating so I thought I’d make use of myself!)

Sunday
Now this hasn’t happened yet but I can still talk about what is happening tomorrow!

As usual for a Sunday it is church which will take up my morning. This will be followed by the very last Alpha session of this course. It has been an interesting three months and I’m looking forward to writing about all that I have seen God do and what God has done with me through it.

Then it is back to work on Monday. Although it my last week before I start my Christmas break. Yippee!!!

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This one is all about doing something for God that is way out of your comfort zone and for me picking something was easy as I am still doing it: Alpha!

About three months ago it became clear that my church was going to run an Alpha course. I had been on one when I became a Christian and I have also helped in one at a friend’s house so I felt I knew what they were about.

I didn’t particularly feel the tug to go and help out on this one though but I thought I would sign up for setting up the church each week and maybe by being a waiter.

Come the first training Sunday I was asked by the people running it if I would mind coming along and helping them run a training DVD through the PA system. So, all through the training, I am there and start to get this feeling that God isn’t going to let me hide in the kitchen on this one.

Come the end of the training everyone was asked what their availability was for the ten weeks of the Alpha course. Being who I am I had nothing in my diary at all. So it came as little suprise the following Sunday when I was asked if I would be a part of the Alpha and lead a small group with a girl called Gemma.

After going for a long walk and lots of prayer I decided to trust God and go for it.

Over these ten weeks I have grown so much in my faith it is unbelievable. I have learned how to talk to new people, I have learned how to pray in groups, I have learned how to pray daily, I have seen people saved and come to Christ. It has been amazing!

This coming Sunday is the last Sunday of Alpha and it will be good to get two evenings a week back again. However, I have already been asked to come back and help out on the next course in February.

I have a lot of praying to do before then but seeing how much God has moved me on these past ten weeks and being a part of salvation, can I really say no? Only God knows!

So, what I would say to anyone reading this is if there is an opportunity to serve God in an area that is out of your comfort zone I would say take a step forward and see what God does. You may actually enjoy it!

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I’ve just got home from the Alpha supper that we just hosted at my church. I have been worried about it all day and then suddely I was stood at the church having second thoughts. At first I thought I was going to be able to get out of it by being “Mr PA” and doing the lighting and sound for the evening (not that there was a lot to do in this area) but thankfully Kaz (who was co-running it with Clive her husband) told me she wanted me on a table with the guests. So I diligently (if a little terrified) started to mingle and greet some people. To say I was out of my comfort zone this evening was an understatement! Thankfully God was looking out for me and I sat next to a very nice chap named Ian and we talked all evening about sport, music and the like.

I thought the evening went very well and the meal that was cooked for us was excellent. I’m getting the impression though that my role in this Alpha may be more than I had first thought. It’s interesting how I started off by saying I didn’t think I was going to involved with this course, then I was agreeing to tidy up and help in a non-talking way but now I may be helping on or even (dare I say it) leading a small group next Sunday. It’s in God’s hands and I trust Him completely. I just have to learn to not get so worried about it beforehand!

One thing I am not happy about though is how bad I was at spreading the word about Alpha. I could have done so much more to talk to people about it and invite people along but I always chickened out (except with my old student from Tyco but he didn’t want to come anyway). I must learn how to talk about God and my faith more openly with people. I don’t understand why it is such a struggle sometimes! I am a work in progress though and hopefully I will get better at this as I continue to move on with God.

Posted by Adam under Faith & Personal | 3 Comments »

So why haven’t I been blogging recently?

Is it because the novelty of blogging has worn off and I am now a bit bored of it? – While I’m not quite as enthusiastic as I was when I started I’m still keen to blog. So it’s not this.

Is it because I have run out of things to say? – I have a backlog of things I want to add on here so no!

Is it because of my new job with the BCS? – I used to be able to blog in my lunch break at my old job but I can’t do that anymore due to company policy but I could do what I have done with this post and write it during my lunch breakand email it home to post up from there! So it is kind of this but not really.

Is it because I have been unbelievably busy recently? – Hmmm, let me think…Yes! That’s it!

So what have I been up to that has had me so distracted? Gateway Church Swindon that’s what!

Up until a week ago I had been regularly attending Swindon Family Church but on Sunday they changed the name to Gateway Church Swindon. This is not just a superficial change, it was a very God-led decision and there’s a whole mindset change to go with this as well. If you would like to know why you can read all about it on the website.

As the person who looks after IT, projection, recording and the website, my involvement in the past few weeks has been fairly intense. Add onto this that the PA box was completely taken apart and rebuilt from scratch in a different place and you can guess the kind of week I just had!

I can happily report though that the website has been changed, the CDs now have a new styling, there are newly styled presentations running every service, and everyone’s email addresses have been changed. There are a few minor things left to do but the bulk of the work has been done.

Does this mean I have lots of time again? Unfortunately not! I’ve been having this week off of “church work” but starting next week I need to tidy up the remaining mini-jobs, keep the website moving forward and grow it to fulfil its potential. On top of all this, somehow I have managed to get myself involved in another Alpha course starting this weekend. This is my first proper course and I’m not sure yet what my involvement is going to be. If we don’t get many people along I may just be tidying and serving. But the more people we get I may end up helping on a small group or even leading one! It’s all in God’s hands though and I trust in Him to do what is best. It doesn’t stop me from being nervous though!

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My friend Lindsay has just posted a very interesting bible study on hell based on Ezekiel 18:32. She was talking about who goes to hell and why but it got me thinking about what is hell?

I have always wondered about hell. My biblical knowledge isn’t exactly extensive but I don’t recall it ever being mentioned in the old testament anywhere. Nor heaven for that matter although this could be implied with the various people who got taken up to be with God.

With the coming of Jesus a new covenant was established and the “modern” ideas of heaven and hell were formed. Does this mean they didn’t exist before then? I don’t think so. So either there has always been a hell and God happily sent all his followers there without warning or hell is not exactly what we think it is.

I’m sure there are some passages in Revelation that explain that hell is a fiery and unpleasant place (understatement) but lets have a wander into theory for a second… I’ve always considered the fact that maybe hell is just the absence of God. Maybe hell is what I used to think of as death when I was an atheist: nothing. An eternity of darkness and nothingness without God.

This makes the whole resurrection thing make more sense in my head as Jesus coming back to life to live at God’s side doesn’t mean anything if you have to die to be in heaven. If death is death and you can only get to heaven by being alive again through resurrection then it makes more sense to me. In order to get to a fiery place called hell would mean having to be resurrected as well surely?

Now I’m sure I am very wrong in all of this and that there are lots of biblical verses to tell me as much. I think I need to go away and do a bit more research to learn more!

However the important thing is not what hell is, it is that there is one. If this is the case then it makes sense to me to find out what I need to do to not go there! I believe that this is a fairly simple job and can be done by just believing that Jesus was the son of God and that he died in order to forgive my sins and give me a clean slate before God.

if you are anything like me though then you’ll want to know as much as possible before you start believing something. Especially something with such a negative image like it has today!

I advise everyone who is not already a Christian to do a little bit of research on what could be the most important decision in your life. If what happened 2000 years ago on a cross was for real (and I have come to the conclusion it was based on lots of compelling historical evidence) you owe it yourselves to discard whatever preconceptions you have about religion and try and find out a little more.

One way to do this is through books but the easier way is through an Alpha course. This is a 13 week course that goes through the basics of Christianity. I went on it when I was still an atheist and it is a great course as they don’t preach at you and try and convert you. They let you be as stubborn and negative as you want. They are only interested in giving everyone a chance to make up their own mind.

My church is running a course at the end of September. More details will be coming soon but in the meantime if you are in the Swindon area and interested in finding out more let them know. I’ll put up another post in the near future as the details become available.

For those of you not in the Swindon area then don’t worry as there are Alpha courses running all over the country. Have a look at http://uk.alpha.org/findacourse to find your nearest event.

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